The Blackout

Well seeing that this is my first official post as a guest author, and its 3:00 in the morning, I'll keep it brief. I'm DJ Imani and the most recent event that brought out some major concern was the Blackout that happened on a Monday night in the Hood! It was dead as hell in the bar, but seeing that Oakland is usually about 52 cards short of a full deck, the Blackout could have been a sight to see, or not see, Rather. If you don't know Oakland, it consists of Amazing Talent holding hands, and skipping along happily, with Stupidity. Hell, its major claim to fame was Hyphy aka Going Dumb. Remember Oscar Grant, A cat from Hayward that gets killed, and Oakland erupts on 3 separate occasions, in a firestorm of vandalism to innocent civilians property. Explain that? Anyhow it was about 1:30 in the morn, the bar was bout to close up, then the whole block goes black. If this was a Friday or Sat Night, people woulda been Fuckin right at the bar. Come December, there would have been a bunch of unwanted children born for real.

With the economy down, and crime up, you know that some drunk ass folks, including women in heels, would have snatched what they could. Every bottle of Hennessey, Patron, Tanqueray, 1800, Courvosier, 151 and Seagrams would disappear like a genie snapped his fingers. I know I misspelled some of those names, but Im from the hood too, so yeah i misspelled, and you better believe your ass, that huge bulge in my pants would have been a bottle of Rum Fa Shizzle!

My DJ gear woulda disappeared and ended up for sale at the Coliseum Swap meet when they re-open the next Tuesday, Closed Mondays. We get excited out here in the Town, you cant let a blackout happen. The most minor event can spark a full blown side show with cats goin Dummy out the sunroof, runnin red lights and breaking windows. With all the credit card machines down, every single person would dip out without paying the tab, and arrive at home with new furniture, bar stools, wine glasses and maybe a cash register. As crazy as it sounds, it would have been hella funny to watch, there would have been fights and all kinds of faded behavior, just because it got dark, Haha. The owner needs to get his cheap ass an emergency generator like Radio Stations and TV Stations have in case of a disaster. If you are from a normal boring city like Fremont or Castro Valley, you may not understand why something so tiny like a minor blackout would cause mayhem. Well my friend, you are a square and you can continue to live your wasted existence wondering why we are all nuts. You still continue to sing our songs representing Oakland, and trying to be hyphy like you took lessons an shit, knowing damn well you are afraid to live life crazy for real. Sometimes life is more fun when it doesn't make any damn sense, as retarded as it sounds, I wish it was a busy night when all the lights went out. The entertainment would have made this Blog at least 10 pages longer. As long as no one gets shot, its usually pretty funny to me.

The only thing that really happened was some one yelled "Lets all start Fuckin", yeah that one was me. But then I realized there was only 2 girls and 4 guys so I took it back. Everyone paid cash and left peacefully. Damn!!